It’s been a while since I’ve posted on here. A lot has happened since my last post. Good, Bad, and literally everything in between. Somehow, through all the up’s and downs’ of life I have this internal soul resilience and still get re-connected to truth and love at the end of the day. I believe the down’s of life are all simply learning experiences to help along this journey through life. To higher my compassion, understanding, wisdom, and awareness. A couple post’s ago I wrote about my fear of moving to Chicago from California, then about how wonderful taking that leap of faith was and all the beautiful things I got to experience despite the lows that took place as well.
Now this journey has brought me to amazing, beautiful, Portland Oregon. It was kind of an abrupt move that was in the back of my mind for a while, I was just too fearful and timid to take that leap of faith and move. A lot of it was stemming from lack of trust in myself and my intuition. I sought guidance and answers from everyone and everything outside of myself due to fear of my past experiences repeating themselves. One day, my intuition was just yelling so loud to the point I couldn’t ignore it any longer even if I tried. So I surrendered. I packed my things, said a prayer, and drove 14 hours on the most beautiful drive of my life straight to Oregon. The drive was amazing, I almost cried tears of joy driving past Mt.Shasta during the sunrise. Something just felt so different internally, I felt confidence in my decision and so much trust and protection. That feeling has not left me since I’ve been here. I don’t believe the shift occured simply because I picked up and moved to Oregon.
I believe it occurred from me finally stopping the search for all of the answers externally and taking a real fearless look within and following my intuition regardless of what other people thought. Sometimes an external shift can be helpful in triggering an internal shift. Everything has just been aligning and making so much sense recently. I attended a healing circle a couple days ago and heard the words “this is your journey, no one else’s.” repeated very clearly during the healing. This was so powerful to me because its exactly the message I needed to hear. I tend to want to listen to and please everyone else but my own souls truth. I’ve been so fearful and doubtful of my thoughts and desires simply because I kept replaying the past over and over. Of course I kept receiving the same results, I was feeding myself and more importantly believing this repetitive story in my head. That story is very very different now, I am protected and guided in all that I do and choose to re-connect with and claim this internal power that has always been there just waiting to be called upon and unleashed. We are so much more powerful than we give ourselves credit for.
I was also informed by the shamanic practitioner that she saw a jaguar during my healing and encouraged me to look into Jaguar medicine which basically implies reclaiming your power, and can also be used heavily for assistance in soul work. The Jaguar paces back and forth patiently and quietly until it knows what it wants, then attacks full throttle at an incredible speed when it comes to pursuing something it is sure of and desires. Very similar to a lot of things in my life but especially this transition. I had the thought in the back of my mind just sitting there very patiently until I was sure it was the route I wanted to go, and regardless of what anyone thought I knew what my intuition desired and was telling me so I followed my soul full throttle. This is just one example of the many synchronistic events that have been taking place since I’ve landed in Portland and decided to follow my souls purpose. I am so grateful for my higher power always directing me to exactly what I need to experience in life, exactly when I need to experience it for the evolution of my soul and journey.