New Adventures!

It’s been a while since I’ve posted on here. A lot has happened since my last post. Good, Bad, and literally everything in between. Somehow, through all the up’s and downs’ of life I have this internal soul resilience and still get re-connected to truth and love at the end of the day. I believe the down’s of life are all simply learning experiences to help along this journey through life. To higher my compassion, understanding, wisdom, and awareness. A couple post’s ago I wrote about my fear of moving to Chicago from California, then about how wonderful taking that leap of faith was and all the beautiful things I got to experience despite the lows that took place as well.

Now this journey has brought me to amazing, beautiful, Portland Oregon. It was kind of an abrupt move that was in the back of my mind for a while, I was just too fearful and timid to take that leap of faith and move. A lot of it was stemming from lack of trust in myself and my intuition. I sought guidance and answers from everyone and everything outside of myself due to fear of my past experiences repeating themselves. One day, my intuition was just yelling so loud to the point I couldn’t ignore it any longer even if I tried. So I surrendered. I packed my things, said a prayer, and drove 14 hours on the most beautiful drive of my life straight to Oregon. The drive was amazing, I almost cried tears of joy driving past Mt.Shasta during the sunrise. Something just felt so different internally, I felt confidence in my decision and so much trust and protection. That feeling has not left me since I’ve been here. I don’t believe the shift occured simply because I picked up and moved to Oregon.

I believe it occurred from me finally stopping the search for all of the answers externally and taking a real fearless look within and following my intuition regardless of what other people thought. Sometimes an external shift  can be helpful in triggering an internal shift. Everything has just been aligning and making so much sense recently. I attended a healing circle a couple days ago and heard the words “this is your journey, no one else’s.” repeated very clearly during the healing. This was so powerful to me because its exactly the message I needed to hear. I tend to want to listen to and please everyone else but my own souls truth. I’ve been so fearful and doubtful of my thoughts and desires simply because I kept replaying the past over and over. Of course I kept receiving the same results, I was feeding myself and more importantly believing this repetitive story in my head. That story is very very different now, I am protected and guided in all that I do and choose to re-connect with and claim this internal power that has always been there just waiting to be called upon and unleashed. We are so much more powerful than we give ourselves credit for.

I was also informed by the shamanic practitioner that she saw a jaguar during my healing and encouraged me to look into Jaguar medicine which basically implies reclaiming your power, and can also be used heavily for assistance in soul work. The Jaguar paces back and forth patiently and quietly until it knows what it wants, then attacks full throttle at an incredible speed when it comes to pursuing something it is sure of and desires. Very similar to a lot of things in my life but especially this transition. I had the thought in the back of my mind just sitting there very patiently until I was sure it was the route I wanted to go, and regardless of what anyone thought I knew what my intuition desired and was telling me so I followed my soul full throttle. This is just one example of the many synchronistic events that have been taking place since I’ve landed in Portland and decided to follow my souls purpose. I am so grateful for my higher power always directing me to exactly what I need to experience in life, exactly when I need to experience it for the evolution of my soul and journey. 

– Melinda

S h e is Me

She is love, she is light, she was born to shine bright.

She is worthy, she is sacred, she had the determination that she would make it.

She was on the rise, you could tell from the fire in her eyes.

She follows her heart, because she has been shown this from the very start.

It appears as if her main mission is to follow her intuition.

She embraces the divine feminine within, as she sits and remembers the places she has been.

She feels as if it’s part of her fate, to create, create, create.

 She wants to feel whole, therefore she listens and tunes into the depths of her soul.

She loves you, she loves me, she aspires to be whoever god wants her to be.

S Y N C H R O N I C I T I E S

Is it just me or are you continuously mind blown whenever you experience yet another god given synchronicity? whether it is running into the one person you where thinking about earlier that day, getting a call from someone who you where just about to call, thinking of a song you really like then hearing it on the radio, or checking the clock and seeing 11:11, 1:11, or 5:55 etc. Now the actual dictionary definition for “synchronicity” is as follows, “the simultaneous occurrence of events that appear significantly related but have no discernible causal connection.” I can definitely identify and agree with that definition although, synchronicity has a far deeper meaning to me.

Synchronicity to me means, that I am in alignment with my higher powers plan for me. It means I am in tune and connected with not only myself, but the everlasting unconditional abundant source of love EVERYWHERE. It means I am loved, guided, and supported. It means no decision I make is ever a “wrong” decision as long as it is coming from a place of truth, compassion, and love. It means I am being heard. It means I have to remain patient because good things are to come.

It means even when I am in one of my funks and not completely willing to surrender all the way that this power greater than myself still believes, has faith, and see’s my strength, even when I can’t see it for myself. It means that every single thing that I have experienced in my lifetime up until this point was necessary for me to learn, grow, heal, and inspire/help others to do the same. It means there is always more to strive for and go after. It means to put my fears, doubts, and, insecurities aside so that I can allow myself the opportunity to get out, connect, and experience more and more of these little miracles. Last but not least, it means to remember that we always have the choice to take back our power, REMEMBER who we truly are, and tap into the loving, abundant, synchronistic, world of the divine that awaits us with open arms.

Love,

-Melinda

Letting Go of Fear

Just about 4 months ago I was crippled by fear, fear of the unknown is what it really came down to. I was living in Southern California where I had resided for the past 3 years prior. I grew very comfortable there and found one of a kind genuine friendships/connections that I could have never even imagined myself finding in my lifetime. I loved my job, the ocean, hiking in the mountains, all of the healthy resturant options, festivals, and so much more.

When I first had the internal pull to move back home to Illinois I kind of just ignored it and didn’t give it to much attention simply because it just didn’t make sense to me, I had a beautiful life why would I move back to the state that has nothing but horrible past memories and associations? I could only ignore this internal pull for so long though. Something, something far greater than myself wanted me to move back home for reasons I could not even begin to understand at the time. I prayed, meditated, and talked to many people about my decision and although most, if not all feedback I got from people was against me moving home I still could not deny this internal pull as much as I wanted to.

I made a plan and put it in motion. I scheduled the date to ship my car, figured out financial situations, and informed my family of my decision. Once I was firm in my decision and put a plan in motion I was shown love, guidance, and support like no other. I was experiencing so many remarkable synchronicities that could not just be viewed as “coincidental”. A good friend of mine from California ended up knowing someone who worked at a company that entailed the exact same work I was doing and wanted to continue doing.

I went for the interview a month before I was scheduled to move back home and got the job. They where willing to work with me and started my hire date 5 days after my scheduled move back home. I will never forget all of the crazy emotions that came up for me the day before I moved. I was sad, excited, fearful, nervous, and had no idea what to expect with this move. I felt as if I was about to board a plane blindfolded to a new life in the state that had so much fear over me.

I spent nights crying myself to sleep as memories of the past wonderful 3 years replayed in my head and all of the genuine beautiful people I had met. Moving day came and I had said all of my goodbyes the night prior at my going away dinner. I boarded the plane and made a decision to turn all of my fear into faith that I was being supported every step of the way during this transition. Since my move I cannot even begin to express how much love, guidance, and support I have been shown by something far greater than myself.

My fears consisted of facing my past, (people, places, and things), fear of not liking my job, fear of not finding true connections like I had in California, fear of being depressed and not happy, fear of regret, fear of false expectations, fear of the unknown, fear of setting boundaries with old friends, and fear of being stagnant and not growing. Through this process I have found the exact opposite of my fears. I have found that I absolutely LOVE my job and the women I work with, I have found that this move had exceeded any expectations I possibly could have had, I have learned to set boundaries right off the bat because I am worthy of healthy relationships and people in my life, and most importantly I have found, (remembered) even more of my true self.

I have had the opportunity to face my past head on and not only learn but heal on a level that I couldn’t have even comprehended a couple of months ago. I have been able to be present and be a daughter, sister, friend, and so much more. One of my biggest fears was that I wouldn’t experience all of the love in Illinois that I had found in California and that is the most important lesson I learned during this transition, that all of that love I was so fearful of not finding wasn’t going anywhere because it was WITHIN ME the entire time. What a simple concept that you hear often but getting to experience that feeling first hand is absolutely amazing and such a beautiful heart warming feeling.

I have found a daily practice that I love so much and have so much passion towards. I have learned to commit to what I love and to just surrender when things are getting crazy in life because I have been shown time and time again that my higher power is so much bigger then me, my problems, and my current circumstances. I am forever grateful for this journey of deeper and deeper self discovery and love. I challenge you to step into something unknown, you NEVER know what beautiful life experiences may be awaiting you on the other side. Thank you all for reading and remember that you are always loved guided and supported if you just let go of fear, surrender, and tune into faith.

Love,

– Melinda